answering the proust questionnaire
I turned 36 yesterday, so I answered 36 questions from the famous editorial questionnaire
Hi friend,
This week, I celebrated my 36th birthday.
Last year, for 35, I shared 35 of my all-time favorite books.
This year, I decided to answer the infamous Proust Questionnaire. There are lots of versions, so I somewhat haphazardly combined my favorites based on what I thought would be fun to share. I landed, serendipitously, on 36 questions.
I also, in an impulsive and temporarily destructive move, decided to spend an entire day reorganizing my home office. I’m very pleased to be writing from a freshly dusted and organized desk this afternoon.
Here are my answers.
(Oh! And remember we’re starting Middlemarch on Monday, May 26! I’m very excited to read with you. A guide to get you started comes out Monday.)
Now, onto the questions —
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
When I’m safe to be my real self.
What is your greatest fear?
A panic attack that never ends.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Sometimes I’m a doormat and I don’t realize it for a long time.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Willful ignorance.
Which living person do you most admire?
I really admire my dad. He’s very thoughtful, and only seems to become moreso as I’ve gotten older. I’m wary to truly admire anyone I don’t know, like a famous person or public figure. But I have to say that I very much admire Phoebe Waller-Bridge, because of Fleabag.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Buying multiple books every single time I visit a bookstore. (Today, as birthday celebrations go, I picked up four new ones.)
What is your current state of mind?
Slow.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Efficiency.
On what occasion do you lie?
When the truth has a high likelihood of making me unsafe.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I feel so odd—laid bare, too vulnerable—when I’m not wearing my giant glasses.
Which living person do you most despise?
Ahem. The president.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Curiosity.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Curiosity.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I say “like” as a filler in, like, way too many sentences.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Ames and Tilly. My cats.
When and where were you happiest?
Corvallis, Oregon. 2011 - 2013.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Playing the guitar. I’m just sort of painfully clumsy at it, not for lack of trying. I wish it came more naturally to me, as a talent.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I’d get rid of PCOS and chronic fatigue in a heartbeat!
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Completing my literature PhD is high on the list….but deconstructing from the religion I was raised in and discovering my own truths has been the achievement—still ongoing—that most enriches my day-to-day life.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I hope it would be a redwood tree. Or an orb weaver.
Where would you most like to live?
Somewhere veryyyyyy rainy and overcast. Green. Mossy. Near the ocean.
What is your most treasured possession?
The quilt my grandmother gifted me for college graduation. She made it by hand and used all my favorite colors.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Feeling unseen or unloved by the ones you most want to witness and love you.
What is your favorite occupation?
Artist.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My openness.
What do you most value in your friends?
Understanding.
Who are your favorite writers?
Edith Wharton. Willa Cather. Jeff Vandermeer. Melissa Febos. Theodore Dreiser. Nella Larsen. Jean Rhys. Frank Norris. Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Dan Erickson.
Who is your favorite hero and heroine of fiction?
Ellen Olenska, of Wharton’s The Age of Innocence is my favorite heroine.
Bill Harding (from the 1996 film Twister, a perfect film) is my favorite fictional hero.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I really “get” Jo March. Does she count as a historical figure?
What are your favorite names?
Iris. Lydia. Peter. Leander.
What is it that you most dislike?
That feeling of being aggressively sold something—especially a concept or way to live. Anyone approaching me from a mall kiosk.
What is your greatest regret?
I have a few. Nothing haunting, though. Thank god for therapy.
How would you like to die?
Peacefully.
What is your motto?
You are what you love and not what loves you back.
What is your favorite color and flower?
Green. Chamomile.
‘til next time, happy reading!
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Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing those answers to the Proust questionnaire- most illuminating. 🌺
Happy birthday, Haley! And boy, are you some spring chicken (just turned 70 this last February). But I so loved this list of questions and I noticed how there were a vast majority that I would have answered similarly. Most people seem to not prefer rainy cloudy environs, but I'm up here in Olympia, Washington, and right with you, my dear. The weather is what I love best about this area and when I travel down to California, where my entire family is located, I honestly can't wait to get back. So much water, so many trees, so gorgeous. But do have a wonderful weekend, Haley!